Is it realistic tyring not to judge anybody?
What about others judging us?
How do we deal with judgment overall?
Starting with us judging the others, I personally see it us wrong attitude.
When we start judging people around us we consider that we know
how they should behave and then we are basically doing a comparison
between how they act and how they should act in order to
have the best performance.
The problem is that we can judge somebody only
when we are expert in something
and when this judgement has a positive intention to make this person
progress with the condition that this person asked our opinion
and that we do not want to get him to believe what we believe...
in other words we probably want to control him
and we want him to do exactly what we want because we believe
that this is the ONLY WAY to do things...
Well, that point is where my objection stands..
I often hear people claiming that judgement is good...
well to me, judgement is generally useless.
Often is destructive. Rarely is constructive
and if so, it needs to be done very carefully and wisely!!!
Explaining, communicating, talking through
is a way of making things better
controlling and making others do what we want is not an option for me
and none should accept it from anybody,
especially from partners and friends.
Let's continue with accepting or not other people's judgement.
Well unfortunately this is not a choice.
People judge everything, all day long, this is our society
and it aint gonna change, so we really do not have a choice.
Therefore we have to live with it, learn how to deal with it
how to accept it, ignore it, transform it, use it appropriately
so that it becomes a positive expeience.
I teach yoga and my students will judge if I am good or not.
I like a man and he will judge my appearance based on what he prefers.
I will cook a cake and my sister will like it or not.
I will prepare a drawing and my boss will accept it or ask me to change it....
This is our life. We have to accept judgement and live with it
and mature with it.
BUT we can always choose who's judgement we should accept.
I can accept judgement that people will judge me at work
because my performance is what they pay for.
I accept people judging my appearance as I walk down the street
and I do not care at all what they believe, so I let them judge because
their judgement does not influence me.
I accept certain kind of judgement from my relatives and friends and partners
depending on the purpose. Why are you judging me?
What are you trying to get out of this judgement?
Actually, I prefer when my partner or sister says "you made me feel..."
with the way you acted rather than accuse me saying
"you act wrong and that hurted me"...
I might have judged a lot of friends unconsciously and probably my ex-partners
but this was not my intention, I was just very much used to judge
from my childhood, but I always hated that and I am changing it
slowly, step by step.
We can choose many things in our lived,
almost everything.
I choose not to judge because it leads me away from acceptance.
Acceptance is the key to move forward
without activating reaction in our lives.
I am not saying that we should accept everything
and wait for God to make decisions, not that kind of acceptance.
Accept and observe, have patience and act when it's time to act.
Easy to say hard to put it in action.
However, I am giving it a try and hopefully
it will bring me where I want to go.
